The truth will set you free

Yesterday, I played a game called two truths and a lie. In the game you tell two true things about yourself and one lie. It is the other players job to guess which one is the lie.

Here was my list:

1. I once slid down the side of the Lincoln Memorial
2. I am half-black
3. I once owned stock in TOYS "R" US

Only one person guessed the lie! It made my night knowing that I tricked them. Ha ha ha!

Here comes the bride....

Well it's official. I have found my one true love, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know it seems so sudden and quick, but like I always say, when you know, you know.

We are thinking of a March wedding. I know that seems like a long time from now, but we really need to make sure the divorce is final. Some might say, "Oh my! A married man!" It's okay, I know he really loves me.

It came as a surprise to me, yesterday. I was talking to my roommate and discussing boys. She hasn't been very impressed with my boy selection thus far and felt there needed to be an intervention. It was at that moment that she told me who I needed to be with, and like a light bursting forth showering with inspiration, I knew then and there who I needed to be with.

Ladies and Gents, I present to you Jesse James, American bad boy.




Now that I see the light, I realize what I've been missing. As soon as Sandra is out of the picture I plan to ride with Jesse on his chopper into the sunset.

We want Elvira!!!!

So I seriously just had one of the weirdest conversations in my life. I was telling my co-worker about a restaurant a friend told me about. Before I finish with this thought, I must tell you my friend's experience with this place of business.

Now before I quote my dear friend, you must know that besides his sister, he is the nicest most spiritual person I know.


The real funny part was when my boss was telling me about the place. "Hey Al, when we go back to that job in DC in a few days I'm treating all of you to lunch at this restaurant in Alexandria. I want you to be there."

Then he described the dancers and told a little more about the place, and then started trying to defend the place, without me having said anything. "There's no reason why you can't be there. It's not like they do lap dancing or anything inappropriate like that.""It's not what you think. This is an upscale, gentlemen’s restaurant. A classy place."

I never even said anything. After that the conversation moved to something else. A few days later when the subject was brought up, he said, "Alan won't go to that place." Then somebody was upset, because I cheated them out of a free meal a very rare occurrence. I never even said anything.

So much for standing up for my principles.

Big Al it's okay. You obviously at one point stood up for your principles, and he knows better.

Anyway, back to my actual topic. So I'm telling my coworker about these websites. I am trying to describe the restaurant, and she asks me if I've been to a strip club.

I of course, in horror, said no. She then proceeded to tell me that after she got married, she made her husband take her to one. She wanted to see what all the fuss was about. She was able to view what goes on there, and she no longer worries if her husband tells he's going to a strip joint with the boys.

I couldn't even believe what I was hearing. The best part came as she was leaving my office. She told me that I too should go to a strip joint went I got married, and I should take my husband.

When I woke up this morning, I never would have imagined the conversation I would be having. Maybe I should have just told her about the Joseph Smith movie, instead.

My new life motto

I believe a _________(insert whatever it is that applies to your life at the moment IE resume, blog, relationship, speech, etc. ) should be like a sexy, short skirt: long enough to cover bare essentials, interesting enough to spike curiosity and short enough to leave scope for thought......

Thank you to Shailja Dutt for this inspiring quote!